Rape is different now — Or it never changed?
Some days ago I came across a movie titled (Guilty) it is about a rape victim who couldn’t get justice because of how flawed the Indian justice system is; coincidentally I came across various threads on Twitter Nigeria of rape victims calling out their abusers. It eventually became a battleground of who has the most receipts and who has the most convincing “shalaye’
Things I’ve learned from the whole #MeToo trend.
My friend Bayo posted on his WhatsApp status “Victims don’t owe you a convincing story”
That update hit me differently, rape is a very complicated crime; most times, the victims don’t know they have been victims until someone shares a similar story, other times they know something went wrong but can’t trust the court to fight for them due to little or no evidence from the crime.
Speaking on evidence
Back to the movie I watched, GUILTY. The rape victim lost out of court because there was no evidence, and she was charged for Defamation of character, not to give spoilers so I won’t go further on how the movies ends, but there was a scene where the only evidence was the blood from the attack but it was no more, very sad. This reminds me of the case against a pastor accused of rape, the situation became a case of ‘she said, he said”.
Eventually, the best evidence is if the abuser confesses to their crime. Which barely happens and the court most times appears to be unjust in such cases hence victims prefer “calling out” their abusers: which is also very effective but dangerous if the ‘calling out’ is against the wrong person.
Fear Of Asking Questions
With the new trend of calling out abusers, I started asking questions in my head.
What if this is majorly revenge against the alleged abuser?
Could these abusers be ignorant of non-verbal communication during sex?
If the abusers have changed, can they apologize and be forgiven after paying for their crime?
I’ve read a lot of things on this topic and I have come to just one conclusion.
NO comes in different forms so if your partner shows any sign of reluctance please sleep in another room and if you can’t control your sexual urges, get help.
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To me, it’s kind of complicated. Cos I hear husbands now their wives which is awkward 😣.
Rape is complicated.
People use it to satisfy themselves or use it for revenge.
Most times rapist deny what they did, making it difficult for someone to believe the victim.
But, then, rape is a painful experience and should be stopped.