Instead of focusing all your energy on improving your physical attractiveness to impress your admirer, create your own mental attractiveness. Learn to be happy on your own, deal with your persistent harmful ideas, overcome your anxieties, and educate yourself. That looks good.
Normalize stating “No” without needing to elaborate. It’s their fault if they feel insulted by your boundaries. The finest weight you’ll ever shed is the weight of other people’s perceptions of you.
Before you get married, talk about finances, parenting approaches, credit, debt, how to deal with family, the beliefs you want to instill in your children, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, partner expectations, and financial expectations. You should also talk about your family’s medical history, your bucket list, your dream home, your career and educational goals, your political views, and anything else that comes to mind. Love alone is not enough.
Don’t accept what enjoyment means to other people. There are other ways to have fun than drinking, partying, and mingling. A night alone, getting lost in a book, having a meaningful conversation, going for a walk, making art, performing music, or working are all examples of enjoyable activities. You decide what is fun for you.
So that your children don’t have to heal from having you as a parent, heal before having children.